Motherhood: How to deal with your frustration

IT’S NOT OK: It’s ok to feel frustration or irritation but it it’s not ok to put those emotions on our kids. The feelings belong to you - not them. If you continue, the cycle will never be broken - all that negative baggage will be handed down from generation to generation - over and over again. YOU CAN BE THE ONE TO STOP IT. Our children deserve better. Even if you are not a mother yet, you can begin to clean up your frustration and irritation. Both were rooted in your own childhood. Perhaps you were silenced, blamed, humiliated, not given enough love or something along those lines. You need to listen to your inner child, so that you can guide the next generation. This is important. You are important. Here are my my tips for healing.

In the moment action step: Take deep breaths and repeat the following until YOU have calmed dow: “This frustration is mine. My child is innocent. I allow myself to feel and release.” You may want to physically leave the room.

Long term action step: get a paper and pen. Allow YOUR LITTLE GIRL to express herself and write out all her frustrations, sadness and/anger. Give her space to tell her story. (Your little girl can be any age or many).

Do you have questions? Let’s take a load off the next generation ❤️ Mama (or mama-to-be), you got this.

Love,

Your Life Coach Filippa

Happiness is a choice

Yes ladies, I'm officially back to blogging. I missed sharing my daily tips and information with you. I can't believe it's been 5 years - lots happened... Divorced, new husband, became a mother (and a step mom), sold my juice business, etc. So many life lessons! It has not been easy, but it has been a beautiful experience that has provided many opportunities for inner growth. I have so much to share with all of you.

I want to kick this post off with the theme of happiness. Something many of us try to experience but seem to be blocked by a number of things such as fear, worry, anxiety, sadness, irritation or frustration. Any of those apply to you? They sure do to me. Just because I am a life coach doesn't mean I don't go through the lessons with you guys.

This blog is meant to help you take your power back. But in order to do so, you need to admit that your life is 100% your responsibility. Agree? There is nobody else that will do this for you. I always wanted someone to save me from my misery, but realised after many years - painful years - that no night in shining armour was coming to rescue. I had to rescue myself. And this is exactly what i want to remind you to do as well.

So let's get into our theme - happiness. It is a choice. Happiness is your choice. In any moment we can choose happiness. Even when life seems so dark. It's always a possibility.

Action Step: Today, as many times as you can, when your mind drifts of into fear - do your best to choose happiness in the moment. You don't need to even think about the future... Just  focus on the moment. If you need to, tell a joke, do something you love - anything. Start training the mind to turn to positivity. Get away from negative thought patterns.

As I do on Instagram, I will also be answering questions here. So ask me anything in the comments below. I am happy to help. 

It feels good to be back. Hope you feel the same.

Love,

Your Life Coach Filippa

Be Ready for Life

ONE THING I ALWAYS TELL MY CLIENTS... Get yourself ready for life everyday! And by that I mean, make yourself presentable and wear clothing that lifts up your ENERGY. Personally, I always want to be ready for my most important meeting. I never want a slouchy outfit to be an excuse or the reason I say "no" to anything. So clean out your closet and get ride of pieces that don't give you good vibes. I'm 9 months pregnant but still do my best to rock it - even on Sundays. It's not superficial; it's self-love. Today's look is from Scotch & Soda.

The Best Skincare Products

I don't spend a tone of time on skincare. My routine has consisted of a face wash and occasional oil for moisture. But I am 35 years old and want to tend towards my skin more - just a little more self care on the face front.

In Miami, I discovered this new line - Tata Harper Skincare. I am obsessed. It's perfect for me and leaves my skin soft, moist and glowing. It's GMO free, no toxins, natural, eco certified, not tested on animals, and no artificial colors or fragrances.

They have a big line of varied products, but here are the ones that I purchased.

Repairitive Moisture

Moisturising Mask - won the Beauty Choice Award from New Beauty

Regenerating Cleanser

I got them at Saks Fifth Avenue but they are available on their website and my friend mentioned NK in Sweden.

Oh and most of their bottles are glass. Thumbs up!

What are you thankful for?

5 DAYS OF GRATITUDE: Yesterday my coaching client told me about a exercise she’s doing - writing down 100 things she’s grateful for under 30 days straight. So I thought maybe some of you want to do this but a lighter version with me? Let’s write down 50 THINGS  we are GRATEFUL for under 5 days starting tomorrow. Let’s shift our perspective and awareness to seeing WHAT WE HAVE, instead of seeing what we lack. Our ego is good at reminding us of that... and we need to put down our foot. You with me? 

Let it come up for healing

I accept everything that wants to come up for healing. 

Lately I have had a bit of resistant to feelings and sensations that want to come up the surface and I have tried to control them instead. Attempting to ignore them or pushing them away. Maybe you recognise this pattern in yourself? And during my morning meditation, the above affirmation just popped up in my mind. Don't fight it any longer, just let it heal. Just accept things as they are, as they were.

All of my life I have used food to push these emotions away - that's not an option for me today.

I want to allow myself more time just to sit with the pain, hurt and sadness and not cover it up with perfectionism. And not be afraid of my darkness. It is by examining our dark corners that we find the map towards the light. It's been a long journey for me to get here, 35 years to be exact, but I am ready to let go of at least a big chunk. And be more open to releasing the past without guilt.

If you want to do your own work, just try to sit with your eyes closed and simply observe your breath. Just start here. You just need to observe yourself without judgement - that is all that is required of you. And try to do this when you're mind is crazy bananas. Don't let the ego mind take over with fear and worry. Love is our only reality. Fear is just an illusion.

Be the observer and not the judge. 

Love Filippa

Self-responsibility

Recently I have been reminded of one thing. And if you actually take action steps to implement this belief, it will change your life. Ready?

Ok, you are only responsible for yourself. This is not selfish, on the contrary, this is self-love. We try to control those around us, we take in their opinion and give away our power - just to end up feeling sad and depleted.

So why are we always trying to take responsibly for other people? Most likely because we were brought up as children without the full support that we needed during childhood and observed adults acting as kids - screaming, fighting, crying, etc. We didn't feel 100 procent cared for, or protected by grown ups. During this stage we were formed and moulded by their behaviour. We are not trying to blame our parents here, we are just becoming aware of various factors that have lead us to act a certain way and how it effects us today. You with me? So don't go calling your mom after this... really, she did her best too.

How can you start living your life and take responsibility for yourself?

  1. Write down a list of things that are important to you in life. How do you want to spend your time on earth?
  2. Don't take anyone's comments or opinions personal. They are only talking about themselves anyways.
  3. "Clean up your side of the street" - which is my favourite quote from Gabrielle Bernstein. It basically says, take a look at your own garbage, your own negative behaviour and blockages and start tying up.

If you have any questions on this subject, feel free to write to me in the comments below. Remember, change starts with you. xoxo

Celebration of Love

Jimmy & I decided that our wedding was about our love and had a small ceremony in Egypt together with William & Paola.

We wrote our own commitments to each other. And believe that marriage is about a living life together but remaining our own source.

Our key words: acceptance, freedom, love and support. That is what we want to give each other throughout life.

If you're getting married, don't stress about the dress, bridesmaids, band, photographer, etc. Remember why this day is special for you and your partner.

My wedding dress is from Lulus.

Gems in your City

It's easy to just spend the weekend on your sofa watching Game of Thrones and eating a pizza, but there is so much more out there...

See your city from the eyes of a tourist and go explore. Try something completely new. Last year, as Jimmy and I were exploring Stockholm and we found a new brunch spot at Hotel Skeppsholmen.

We go there for romantic weekend breakfasts and get in a little power walk on the way over there.

These are pics from Saturday's return.

xoxo

Day 10: Make Truthful Decisions

DAY 10 - MAKE TRUTHFUL DECISIONS:

We often abandon ourself for the wants, needs and opinions of other people. For example, choosing a profession because our parents suggest it or wearing a certain outfit because society thinks it’s trendy for the moment. So let’s pause here and check in with YOU. Decisions that are right for you - those feel good inside. That’s how you know they are true and leading you in a positive direction.

DAILY EXERCISE: Take inventory of your decisions and choices today - which ones feel good? Which ones make you happy?